nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
