That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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