then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
How does one acquire holy water?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
