if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Do vagina's smell?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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