i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
