wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
