I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
