i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
