dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
