Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
