Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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