but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just pee around me
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
