I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
