im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
