I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
