We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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