I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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