Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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