Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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