Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
