is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
