so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
