im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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