After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
that is very illegal...i love you.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
