omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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