Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
