he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
