Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
my poor anus
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
