You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
