I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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