I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
