her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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