Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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