i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
