i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
