Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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