I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
