Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
