Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
