So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
