and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
