Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You can't just leave with hair like that
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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