I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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