That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
