She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I could fuck to npr.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
