i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
