Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
