is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
