She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
