I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
